I love my children but….

My heart melts and a smile is pasted on my face as I’m watching my 2 year old half naked son run our backyard with a long sleeve shirt on and rain boots. No pants. No diaper. Just free as a bird. This was my attempt to try something different since he refused to “pee-pee” or “poop” in the potty. Surely goodness if he runs wild outside, get excited, and accidentally potty without a diaper on, he just might like the feeling and decide today is the day. NOPE! Not the case, but it doesn’t matter. I love my children.

My twin girls of 7 months sit in chairs at the doorway enjoying the breeze and warm sun. Watching their mom with intense eyes waiting on me to acknowledge them in any way so that the gummy smile can fill their face. Who would trade this? I love my family! I love my children!

Now of course I left out the fact that shortly after, my son does poop in his training pants, steps in the poop, wipes it with his hand and walks on my living room carpet. MY NEWLY CLEANED LIVING ROOM CARPET!!! Meanwhile, one twin sits in the chair screaming at the top of her lungs because she can’t see me while I’m cleaning her brother. Shirt covered in baby spit up, and hands speckled with poop. I finish up my days only to wonder how in the hell did I make it today?! How do these “stay-at-home” moms do this? The mental state of mind to manage multiple children under the age of 5 (age of 3 in my case) is beyond the normal comprehension. Love conquers all. All because I love my children.

Momma just needs a break. She doesn’t want to cook, clean, wash clothes or dishes. Momma wants a moment to herself. She wants a bottle of wine, the remote to the tv, and a pack of cookies that she doesn’t have to hide because her son can hear the bag rustle from a mile away.

Don’t get me wrong! I LOVE MY CHILDREN! But we as moms often forget to take time for ourselves. In many cases, we are the heart of the family. The engine that keeps the car running. The know it all of all things involving your family yet in 99% of most cases, we run ourselves in the ground. Rain, sun, sleet, or snow, we are the doctor, teacher, disciplinarian, chauffeur, friend, etc. If we are what keeps the wheels turning, then partaking in “mommy time” would only be an investment for the family. A night out with your girls (only to talk about your children) can serve as replenishment, thus allowing you to be the best mom that you can be.

I LOVE MY CHILDREN! I just know that Mommys must love and care for themselves as well. Once again, it only benefits your family.

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A Letter to My Unborn Daughter about Money, Self-Worth and Purpose

I wish I would’ve grasped this concept sooner in life! Check this out!

Source: A Letter to My Unborn Daughter about Money, Self-Worth and Purpose

Remember who He is

God has a way of showing you just how powerful he is yet he requires you to trust in him. Trust that He has your best interest at heart. He wants you to come after Him, and lean not to your own understanding. Trust in him even when the odds are stacked 100:1. This is my current learning stage, and one that I’m struggling day to day. It’s so easy to walk and trust in God when all is great, but the test is when your world seems to continue to crumble. When you feel like you can’t take anymore, and then another piece crumbles in front of your eyes. That very moment when the scream of “too much” bottles in your throat, God waits patiently (beside you) to acknowledge Him. For you to call on His name, and be reminded that He is Lord. He will not put more on you than you can bear. It’s merely a process of growth, which can cause a lot of pain, loneliness, and sometimes confusion (which is always made clear in the future). This by far can be the hardest season  experienced in life, but keeping your eyes on Jesus Christ is the key. When the storm is over, you will look back and realize that only God can bring you out of something that could/should have broken you.

Love God and all of his power…To know Him is to love Him.

A junction of thoughts race through my mind causing all efforts of clarification to fail. The weight of responsibility keeps me up all day, and exhausted by night. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought of my son’s smile when I walk in the door from a long day. That smile is filled with more expressions than one can relay. LOVE.

The Start

So the idea of starting a blog has been resting heavily on my heart. I had not the slightest idea of what I am to write, nor how to create one. Then I became intimidated by the fact that ANYONE could read my blog. “What would they think ?” OR better yet “What would they say?”. The more I prolonged making the first post, the more I felt inclined not to do it. Then I thought, what the heck! I have something to say. This is my attempt to come out of my own shell. So here I am today, fighting my first #fear of what others think….believe it or not I somehow feel liberated. Now would you look at that. 😊

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